Q and A Mailbag: How to Get Back My Love After Cheating


Hi Mike,

So my girl of 3 years dumps me after she claims that I was cheating. Even though I proved to her that I had remained faithful, she still went on to spread vicious lies about me.

Two months into it and I’m still trying to figure out how to get back my love. After I found out that she was seeing a few new guys I begged her to give us a second chance. Even when I was sick in the hospital with a grave disease she didn’t even come to visit.

She constantly ridicules me and I have all but given up. I am so pissed off that I want to make her pay for what she’s missing. So I’m planning to post nude pics of her online and hopefully it would go viral.

You think this is too much?

Thanks again,

Mr. Broken Heart


Hey Mr. Broken Heart,

Take a step back and listen to what you’re saying. You want to “post nude pics of her online and hopefully it will go viral”?? Just for a little “revenge”. If you haven’t done it already… stop.

I know you’re going through a rough time right now and you’re looking for some answers, but this is seriously not the way to go.

You might have treated her like a queen but that doesn’t mean she “owes” you anything.

If you wanted to “get back at her”, just act like nothing happened and move on, because begging her to come back will do the complete opposite. You’re actually making her feel better by hanging on.

She’s actually helping you out by hinting to you that you guys are not meant for each other.

Just walk away. Not physically, but mentally.

*** QUESTION: ***

Hi Mike,

My girl, who I loved with all of my heart, broke up with me a few weeks ago and I don’t know what to do. She always used to tell me that she was in love with me, but in the mean time she would cheat on me behind my back.

I still do care for her tremendously and been having suicidal thoughts for a few days. It makes me absolutely nauseous just thinking about her and thinking about her with another man. How the hell do I get over her?




Hey dude,

As hard as you might be feeling right now, just accept the fact that you’re not alone. It has happened to the best of us. When we fall in love with someone we tend to take them for granted.

I myself have been in your position a few times, so I know how you feel. If you really want to heal your heart, you should try to date someone new to replace that empty feeling inside of you.

That replacement will come, just trust in two people – Father Time and Mother Nature.

Keep your head up…


*** QUESTION: ***


5 months ago my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me. It was the toughest time for both us. I was just starting my new job and she was starting school again and going through some family issues.

I’ve been keeping myself really busy and have been dating around but I still can’t get her out of my head.

Am I asking too much? I really want to reconnect with her. Should I try again or should I just completely forget about her for the rest of my life.


John – Melbourne, Australia


Hey John,

It really never hurts to try to reestablish contact with an ex-girlfriend. You’ll really learn two valuable lessons when that happens.

You’ll finally know that she’s completely over you and there is no going back. This will break your heart again, but will teach you never to go back to an ex.
You can remain friends with her.
The point I’m trying to make is that you can’t have it both ways. You either lose a “friend” or you regain a “lover”. This isn’t a science, John, which you will soon find out. So my suggestion to you is to try to reconnect with her.


*** QUESTION: ***

Hi Mike,

I have a quick question for you – why do women walk away from good relationships? As you probably know, I’m asking because my ex recently left me and I don’t know why. I was the best thing that she ever came across.

She’s had a long history of dating “bad boys” and, me, being a responsible human being, gets dumped on. I’ve tried to find out in person to what went wrong, but the only thing she could tell me is that “I’m not feeling it anymore”.

How will I learn from my mistakes if she doesn’t tell me what she wants?

Thanks again..

Confused in New York


Hey Confused in New York,

You have to understand, that just because a relationship might seem good on the outside, that doesn’t mean that your ex-girlfriend has that “gut-level” attraction for you.

Some girls just like drama. A lot of men have a hard time believing this because men and women think differently and men wonder why women don’t think like men! (That might sound confusing, but it really isn’t)

I’m guessing that you just bored her. There could be a million reasons.

It’s possible that she wants to date around move and really isn’t ready for the pressures of a “long term relationship”. Women can be complicated when it comes down to dating. But they are actually much more “intelligent” when it comes to relationships. It’s a battle you never want to really go face to face with.

The best thing to do is to be a “bad boy” yourself by ignoring her as long as you can. Even ignoring after she tries to contact you. If you want to spark that relationship again, nothing is better than a little mystery and jealousy.

Take care,


*** QUESTION: ***

I’ve know you say to get into new hobbies to help the healing after a breakup. I have been following your advice for a couple of months now, but still can’t seem to shake my ex out of my mind. Am I missing something here?

William – Ontario, Canada



You’re actually doing everything right. There really isn’t much to tell you except to hang in there. Your mind right now is taking a one step forward just to take 3 steps backwards when you think about your ex.

But guess what?

That’s all part of the healing process.

Soon, you’ll be taking 3 steps forward and 1 step backwards. It does take time. For some guy it might take a few days and for others a few years.

Just keep mentally and physically active. Believe me, you’re doing just fine.

Take care,


*** QUESTION: ***

Hello Mike,

I’m so depressed right now that I’m pulling out all of my hair. I feel so worthless and stressed out that I don’t think I could ever pull myself up from this all-time low. My ex ignores any kind of contact that I try to make with her.

I can’t take it anymore. I’m constantly sobbing. And when I do see her around town, she seems so happy and content conversing with other people and makes it seem like I’m totally invisible to her. Like we never existed before.

We had nothing but the best of memories over 3 years and then, boom.. she breaks up with me out of nowhere.

Last night I sent her a long email letting her know how much I care for her and that if she’s in trouble not to hesitate to ask.

Hopefully I hear from her again, if not, I’m really not sure what to do. This has been bothering me big time for a while now. Any tips or advice for someone like me?

– Jeff


Hey Jeff,

First thing, first, if you think you’re having some serious mental issues, I would suggest to go seeing a Psychologist or Psychiatrist. I’m serious, ok?

So on to your question, your ex isn’t replying to you because it sounds like you’re putting too much pressure on her. You’re trying to find out “how to get back my love”.

It’s simple. Let it go. Give yourself some space and don’t expect anything in return from her. You’re being manipulative right now in terms of trying to “bait her” into reacting to you.

So stop what you’re doing and don’t contact her for a few months. And like the advice I give most men… find you a new hobby and try to occupy that busy mind of yours.

Keep your head up…


This is just the very tip of the iceberg if you’re planning to win back your girl.

*** QUESTION: ***

Hey Mike,

I hope you can help me with my situation. My ex-girlfriend broke up with me a few months ago. We both work at the same office building but things were not working out the ways she wanted. I wasn’t too happy seeing her so happy and moving on talking to new guys during her cigarette breaks. I knew we were drifting apart but I still thought about her every day and would do anything for her if she needs me.

So I’m feeling down when I’m not with her but once every two weeks she would give me a call if I wanted to hang out. We would end up having sex and my hopes would get up of getting back together with her, but she would just leave me at the end of the night and give me a kiss on the cheek. If I see her at work the next day it was like nothing happened.

I since haven’t spoken to her for about 4 months and she hasn’t made any effort to contacting me. I have steadily working on myself by joining the gym and taking some college classes at night. I like to post my goals on Facebook to help motivate myself. Yesterday after my posting my ex “liked” it. I don’t know what to think about it. On her status, it says that she’s single, so maybe it’s a way of her trying to communicate with me. What do you think?




Hi Frank,

Facebook is tricky, because it give anyone the opportunity to “say” something with so much ease… like clicking the “like” button.

At this point I want you to do something counter-intuitive. Delete her as a friend. Don’t say anything just delete her and then add a new profile picture of you having fun in some way. You’ll get bonus points for getting a new wardrobe and haircut.Try it and you’ll be surprised at the results.


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